The art of being me by Tiddler

Tiddler is having a rant today.

Dear Humans,

Have I told you before you are stupid? Humans think we cats are stupid. We know you are. You do not hear what we say, no matter how hard we try, adding vocalising and body language onto our mind pictures. You tell us we cannot talk. Not your language perhaps, but we speak a universal one of light. We read the images you project and you say “Isn’t it amazing, its almost as if he knew what we were thinking”. Well we do. Why can’t you do the same? I know one or two of you do tune in and believe me, its so refreshing not to be ignored, to be heard. To have our pictures seen.

In my home He hears me, sits and sniggers over my comments. I am pretty straight talking I know. At my age I have no time for niceties. I need my bowl filled regularly with quality interesting food. I need a warm place to rest. I need regular cuddles and a human to plug into for energy. You can’t expect a 21 year old cat to have boundless energy. I like to have sofa seat priority over the Fat Cat that She calls Jimi. I like a clean water bowl separate to that of the dribbly dog. At the moment I like some spring grass. I need a good grooming, avoiding my sore hip. I do not need to be cute or a model for human’s art projects. Which is what she is doing with me!

Here is a picture of her art so far. Am I not the most perfect subject for a woodcut? Its a bit wonky looking if you ask me. But you didn’t did you. You don’t think I can answer…

DSCN4002

I think dogs are stupid too. All that mooning at people. And they smell. They¬†like smells. They can be fobbed off with cheese packet wrappers rather than best cheddar. How crackers is that? Cheese crackers? Thats a cat joke. Bet you didn’t know we make jokes too.

The dog had a bath this afternoon. We cats never need baths. We are superior beings.

Here’s 2 of her woodcuts superimposed to add in my AGA dragon. These are her first goes, I think she may show promise. I am in a good mood as she just shared chicken and yoghurt.xxxTDSCN4001 2

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